


Endings

by Gallifrey_Immigrant



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Gen, doctor lies, river knows that better than anyone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-17
Updated: 2015-10-17
Packaged: 2018-04-26 20:26:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5019271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gallifrey_Immigrant/pseuds/Gallifrey_Immigrant
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Doctor loves River, but even he knows it will end one day. (So does she.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Endings

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by Anonymous in the [23emotions](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/23emotions) collection. 



> **Prompt:**
> 
> Rubatosis:  
> (n) _The unsettling awareness of your own heartbeat._
> 
> I hope this counts as a prompt fulfillment!

He sees River's blonde hair whipping back and forth as she twirled around on the beach. It was rare that she looked so joyful, so full of life. Her eyes catch his, and she beckons over to him, smiling seductively.

 

How could he resist?

 

The Doctor walks over to her in his best attempt at being graceful, and ended up tripping on his own feet. River laughs, and pulled him up. Hands clasped together, they move with each other, bodies twisting to a silent private rhythm.

 

“I think I've gotten rather good at this dancing sort of thing,” he said proudly.

 

River rolled her eyes, and said “Only after a couple of centuries of practice with me. With a couple more centuries, you might just get to the point where you don't trip every few steps.”

 

The Doctor's face darkens, but he does his best to hide it. River knows him too well, though, and her face creases in concern. “What's wrong?”

 

The Doctor pretends to be confused, and stammers out “W-what? Nothing's wrong. I mean, there is a few things wrong—the weather's a little cold, I've lost my fez, and I think a bird just used the bathroom on our TARDIS. But besides that, I think we're doing well.”

 

River doesn't say a word. Just keeps on dancing, and stares at him with her blue eyes, like she's searching for something. The Doctor gets the impression that she's angry, and eventually says “What?” It comes out more defensively immature than he planned.

 

River stops dancing abruptly, and causes the Doctor to fall on the floor. Wiping sand off his face, he glares at River, saying “You could have given me a warning. I was enjoying that dance.”

 

“Do you know how hard it is to love someone with so many secrets?” said River. “Every time I think I know you, I find some other little hidden plan, or something you forgot to mention. It drives me insane!”

 

This is exactly the conversation he didn't want to have. And the worst part is that he knew he she was right, but he had to defend himself anyways. “River, you know I want to tell you everything. But there are things I can't tell you. Stuff that's like...forbidden.” His defense sounds horrible to his ears.

 

“Forbidden by whom? Why?” demands River.

 

“That information, well, is also forbidden!” said the Doctor. With a light smile, he added “Spoilers.”

 

River shook her head, trying to hold back her own smile. “Fine. Keep your secrets. But don't act like everything’s alright when it isn't. Something's bothering you.” River reached a hand out to his face, cradling his cheek.

 

Impulsively, he pressed his lips to her. For a small second, he forgot all about his concerns. About the fact that he knew how River would die, and how he always feared that the next day would be the last day he would get to smell her hair, or dance with her. And, of course, he could never tell River.

 

River pushed him off gently, with a seductive smile on her face. Entwining her arms around his shoulder, she drew him close and slowly traced her breath over his cheek, sending shivers down his spine. Stopping at his ear, she whispered “I think maybe it's just in your nature to keep secrets. I like it, but not always. Don't treat me like one of your companions that you can just bamboozle for their own good—because I'm not your companion. I'm your _wife_. And I know you better than you think I do.”

 

The Doctor nodded, and said “Of course. I've learned better than to underestimate you. But there's rules I can't break. Some things even you can't know.” He looked at River's face, hoping for signs of understanding. Instead, her face showed resignation. He felt even guiltier.

 

River sighed, and then flashed a mischievous grin. Before he could react, she shoved him into the water.

 

“Ah! You've messed up my bow-tie!” said the Doctor. Scooping up some water in his hands, he threw the projectile at River, who dodged the return fire.

 

“Did you just try to get me wet?” says River in mock outrage, and jumps at the Doctor. He put his hands up, but couldn't dodge the assault in time, and was soon wresting with his wife in the water.

 

Laughing and smiling, he knows that his conversation with River isn't over. But he tries not to think about it too hard, and plus, River's touch is a good distraction.

 

A few hours later, the Doctor was fast asleep. River, on the other hand, watched the two moons above, and listened to the dual melody of his soft breathing and her heartbeat. She knows he's hiding something in a desperate attempt to keep her calm. She knew that whatever it was, it was so terrible that he refused to confess, even when they both knew he was concealing a truth. What could it be?

 

Her heartbeat resounded in her ears, grounding her to the moment. When the Doctor was up, she could let him distract her with his antics and his laughs and his kisses, but in the loneliness of the night, she could piece together what he didn't want her to know. Lifting herself quietly from the Doctor's body, she strolled to her bag. Opening it, she retrieved the journal that she had received from herself. That journal was the manual to her life. Both a gift and a curse. It made preparing for life's surprises easy, but also made it too easy to spoil herself on the big events. She was always tempted to read ahead, and even did it once or twice. Of course, it got weird when she noticed references to reading ahead in the actual text of the journal. Everything she did was pre-written, even the things she wasn't supposed to do. For a free spirit like River, that was intolerable.

 

And of course, every book has an ending. River couldn't help but notice that as the years wore on, she was getting closer to the final chapter. By now, there was more book read than unread. River slammed the book back into her bag, having forgotten why she took it out in the first place. She glanced at her husband, who was curled up like an upside down pretzel, but somehow stayed sleep.

 

The Doctor probably knew that their time was running out. He would deny it, of course. Not only for her sake, but for his. He hated endings, and hated thinking about them. He would try to avoid talking about it as much as possible, wanting to savor the good times.

 

River could hear her heart beating, and knew with every thump it was bringing her closer to the Library. She had read the last page of the book, because how could she not? No one could tell her what to do, not even her future self. She already knew the secret he was trying to keep from her. She walked to his face, wiping errant strands from his forehead. He looked like a child now, so vulnerable.

 

She couldn't change her fate, and didn't want to. The joy the Doctor had brought her was worth the ending of the story. And that's all that mattered to her. After all, when all was said and done, she was just a story in the end.


End file.
